Do I embrace or fear?
The process of aging has a more intimate relationship with women than it does with men. In today’s fast paced societies, the aging process is a matter of concern from guite an early stage in young girls. Aging is not a symptom of midlife crisis anymore.
For every woman, that moment of being overwhelmingly aware that one’s body is indeed aging will occur. It is no longer surprising to find a young adult obsessed with the thought of aging. Then, there are those women nearing the end of their 30s analyzing their physical appearance for obvious signs of aging, consumed by a daily regiment of scrutiny.
Perhaps, it’s the liver spots on the back of your hands or your parents funeral that makes you take note and begin to pay more attention to the physical signs of your personal aging process.
Hence begins the heart palipations and spontaneous moments of anxiety.
For every individual woman the aging process can be comforting or completely traumatizing.
Let’s consider the number 40. For a large percentage of the female populations of the world, this age generates fear instead of comfort or satisfaction.
According to the Women’s Encyclopedia of Health and Emotional Healing:
Who’s afraid of the big 4-0? You are. At least you are if you haven’t reached it. “Turning 40 is pivotal,” says Cornell Medical Center Professor, Marion Hart, M.D. “Decades mark of a piece of life, and turning 40 is the decade in which you really begin to realize that half your life is over.” Fear of 40 is really fear of getting old.
But once they get there, most people actually find out they really like being 40. “I dreaded turning 40 like you wouldn’t believe,” admits Melanie Anderson, a child-free by choice career woman. “The weekend of my 40th birthday, my husband and I went on a sailing trip because I wanted to be away from it all when ‘it’ happened. I also knew I wouldn’t be around a mirror. I don’t know what I expected to happen when I woke up on my birthday, but I can tell you what I felt was great relief. Waiting around for 40 to happen was the worst part. I didn’t look any different or feel any different–except maybe a little stupid for making such a big deal of it.”
I would venture to summise that very few women, no matter how old, will deny feeling the way Melanie Anderson felt about turning 40. How many of us have actually accepted the fact that our teens, young adults, and adult women have created a billion dollor plastic surgery industry?
All these medical modifications of our human body are an indication of how obsessed we’ve grown with our appearances. Women of all ages constantly investigate themselves for wrinkles, sags, and dull aged looking skin.
Believe it or not, there is a very small percentage of females who exist by embracing, not fearing, the aging process. As I see it, fearing the aging process is pointless; because it is unavoidable.
However unavoidable the aging process may be, most women still believe that their value depends on how sexy they look. Oh yeah, it all boils down to sex! Don’t believe me? Perhaps you will believe the head of the graduate program in school psychology at the Brooklyn College in New York. Laura Barbanel who confers that a woman’s fear of aging may have something to do with women equating their beauty with their sex appeal. While we may not admit this bit of information so willing out loud, it has a lot of truth to it. As one woman puts it, aging is “a humiliating process of sexual disqualification.” Yep, this is how hard we are on ourselves!
So, how does that small percentage of females go about embracing the aging process? That’s easy! They focus their attention on the elements of the aging process that they can actually do something about.
I’m sure by now some of you who are reading this will assume that I am referring to modern day’s technological approach to beauty. It appears that tummy tucks; face lifts; smoothing this out; pinning that up; or getting rid of this all completely are the prime choices for a quick fix these days.
Because we as women live in a constant state of comparison, we create an existence and perception that affects us negatively. Assessing the other woman’s overall appearance and grading against your own becomes almost second nature to us, women.
Have no fear! In this series of articles on aging, you will discover that there is a solution. You will find out the process to your rebirth.